Are Rituals the Secret to Living Well?
(where I start my morning ritual)
A couple of years ago, I came across a book in a thrift shop by Alexandra Stoddard called Living a Beautiful Life: 500 Ways to Add Elegance, Order, Beauty, and Joy into Every Day of Your Life . I didn’t know much about the author except that she is an interior designer. What I thought would be a simple guide book for creating a lovely home turned out to be a revolutionary read for me. I bought the book on a whim, and when I finally sat down to thumb through it, the first sentence captured my attention.
“Creating daily rituals — making daily tasks into times of enrichment through planning and special personal details — is a way to live a richer, more satisfying life.”
Who doesn’t want that? Could creating for ourselves pleasing and beautiful daily habits for our simple, boring and mundane daily tasks lead to a more fulfilling life? Food for thought.
Alexandra Stoddard defines rituals as “the patterns you create in your everyday living that uplift the way you do ordinary things, so that a simple task rises to the level of something special, ceremonial, ritualistic.”
And why shouldn’t we elevate and enhance our daily living instead of saving our time, energy and money for special occasions and celebrations? We are told to celebrate everyday. But what does this look like in practicality? Where do we start?
Identify your values and priorities
I think the best way to get started building rituals into your daily life is to think about what you value most and then prioritize those values by building daily rituals that support them.
To find your values, answer the following questions and look for a theme or something that resonates with you in your answers:
What is important to me?
What would my perfect day look like?
When do I feel most satisfied or content?
How do I want to be remembered?
What do I want to accomplish in my life?
How do I want to feel at the end of every day?
For me, I value connection (with God, myself and my community of family and friends), and I value my home as a place for comfort and peace. So, most of my rituals involve my home and the time I spend there with myself and with others.
think about your day
Now that you have identified your values and priorities, think about about your daily routine and identify some areas where you can build in rituals that support your priorities.
Here are some examples.
Is self-care a priority? Can you start your bedtime routine a little earlier to create for yourself a wind-down bath ritual with special bath salts, lotions, etc.?
Is spending time in nature a priority? How can you get outside everyday to connect with nature? Or can you bring nature inside with fresh flowers or cut branches in a nice vase?
Is family meal time a priority? How can you can you make it a special occasion each day so that your family understands its value? Can you set the table with your nice dishes and linens instead of using disposable items? Even if you just throw take out or fast food on those plates!
Create your Rituals
Now that you’ve identified your values and priorities and thought about your day and areas where you have room to build rituals, make creating them a habit a new priority.
“Creating rituals requires instinct for what you like, and some time in setting up and sustaining the details,” says Stoddard. “But the daily rituals you create allow you to make the most of what you have and to stretch time by savoring moments.”
For me, when I come home for the day, I want to pause and turn off work mode. I live alone but that doesn’t mean I can’t be fulfilled and enjoy a beautiful life as a single person. I have a “coming home” ritual. I greet my pups and take them outside to run for a few minutes. I check the mail then walk around the house to turn on lamps (I love soft lighting). I light a scented candle and turn on a playlist of some of my favorite songs. I change into “soft clothes” then fix myself a special drink — sometimes a cocktail, sometimes a mocktail, sometimes a cup of tea or glass of wine. Then I just relax for at least 20 minutes — no annoying chores. Sometimes during that time I read on the patio or in the sunroom, sometimes I water my plants (not a chore for me) and sometimes I just snuggle or play fetch with the dogs. After that, I might do chores that need to be done or putter around the house (a favorite pastime). This time is almost always accompanied by the latest episode of my favorite podcast or an audiobook. I then move into my dinner ritual where I set my place at the table with pretty dishes, make dinner and sit down to eat at the table not on the couch.
Your rituals don’t have to be complicated. They just have to be easy to do and something that will make you happy.
“Rituals and details are not ends but steppingstones, tools to aid us in the enjoyment of the actual process of living as fully and creatively as we possibly can. Values and rituals are intertwined; through rituals we can express our values, giving our lives dignity, vitality and joy.””
Will you try building enriching rituals into your everyday life?
*Some photo sources linked here (commissionable link).
*block print pillow covers and quilt from Nine & Sixteen Home.